Scared First
It’s said you never forget your first.
Do you?
Remember your first . . . kiss, boyfriend, girlfriend, interview, day at new job, boss, night in your dorm room, sleepover, driving the car alone, waking up in a new city?
Oh, the list is endless.
When it’s your first time doing – whatever – somehow it’s never forgotten.
It’s exhilarating.
It’s scary.
Setting out, you’re unsure how you’re going to pull it off, make it happen, survive.
But then looking back, you realize, you did – pull it off, made it happen, achieved it, conquered it, survived.
And I’ll bet looking back you laugh a little at how scary it seemed . . . at first.
No Way Out . . .
My days as a Court Reporter seem so long ago, yet I remember my first job and how terrified I was.
(A court reporter is that person that sits in a courtroom/legal proceedings with a machine taking down everything everyone says verbatim, per-fect-ly!)
I was shadowing a fellow court reporter for a short time. It was safe. Fun. I felt so confident. Until . . .
I arrived one day at a law firm to a message from the receptionist to “call your office”. My office? I have an office? I called the court reporting agency I worked for and was told the reporter I was shadowing that day was sick. (I was sitting in with/shadowing her. She was the official)
At first I was bummed out. Dang! I came all the way into Boston for nothing.
But then I was told, “you’re it”!
What? No!
Fear set in so fast I was rambling excuses at the rate of an auctioneer.
“I don’t think I’m ready for this.”
“What is this case about? How many lawyers are there? I have no paperwork on the case.”
“I don’t think I brought enough steno paper.”
“I don’t have my notary yet.” (which I needed to swear the witness in) I thought “this excuse” would save me because without being able to swear a witness in, you cannot proceed to question him under the pains and penalties of perjury) BUT I was immediately informed that it is day two of the deposition, the witness has already been sworn in, I just have to remind them of that.
I thought I was going to pass out.
“You can do this, Christine, you’re ready,” my office said.
I hung up the phone, thanked the receptionist, swallowed hard, prayed silently then headed into the conference room.
I surprised myself (actually, I think I was in shock) being in complete control, professional, unafraid to tell them there was no need to swear the witness in as he was previously sworn. And I didn’t run out of paper (that one wasn’t really an excuse).
However, I almost passed out at the train station as I made my way home later, as it dawned on me what had just happened.
But I made it. I did it. I was “Scared First” but I pulled it off (okay, so I had no way out; unless I really did pass out, but thankfully that didn’t happen).
Scared but not alone
What are you working on in your life that feels scary?
Can I share a secret?
Everybody gets scared.
Everybody.
Even celebrities.
Even rock stars.
Even when we’re clear about what we want to accomplish and we’ve done the prep work, we’re feeling good, excited, 
exhilarated, ready to execute, sometimes we freeze. And that freeze manifests itself by doing things like tweaking things, looking over things for, like, the millionth time. We convince ourselves we’re not ready, it’s not ready, we are lucky to have caught our mistakes before execution. We procrastinate, perfection-ate (I made that word up). We do everything we can think of to not move forward because we are scared first.
Fear. It’s okay. It’s normal.
Fun way to defeat fear
Okay, so, if you’ve been in fear, you know there’s nothing fun about it.
But here’s a fun game you can play when fear sneaks in trying to stop you as you’re about to execute whatever it is you’re working toward.
I call it “Flashback to Move Forward”. You ready to play?
- Think back to one of your “scary firsts” that you accomplished doing. Really pull that past memory and fear up. Then remind yourself even though you were terrified you did it. Even if it didn’t come out perfect, you still did it. You lived through it (if you’re reading this you lived through it) You pushed through that past fear and won!
- Give the memory of past fears a name (so you can call on it later). Like, “Past Fear Coach”. Then every time you’re about to head out on a new goal and fear sneaks in trying to stop you, you step back, silently call on that “Past Fear Coach” and . . . EXECUTE!!!
- Create a “Scared First” journal. Write out short stories of times in the past that you were scared to do something and how you made it through successfully. Next time you’re afraid to venture out into something new, read a story or two. It will give you the boost of confidence you need to put fear to work for you.
My scary confession
Guess what?
This (newsletter) is my first (for my coaching business).
Of course I was scared.
But you’re reading it so I “flashed back to move forward” and defeated my fear.
I swear, though, I did not mean for this to be sent out as a ghost of Halloween. That was just a scary coincidence.
Conversation Starters:
- Do you like being scared?
- Share a first time you were scared to do something.
- What are you working on now that you feel fear trying to hold you back on?
